Ben Schwartz & Larry King play #ItsMy2Cents

Larry King: Let’s play ‘It’s my two cents.’

Ben Schwartz: Oh I love it Larry. Let’s do this.

Larry King: This has to be one sentence-

Ben Schwartz: But this also has to be—none of us are thinking about anything-

Larry King: No other thoughts.

Ben Schwartz: Describe exactly what-

Larry King: I’ve been doing it for years, I used to write it as a column for ‘USA Today,’ for the ‘Miami Herald,’ and now I do it every Sunday on my Twitter, it’s my two cents, I send out 25 items, I just dictate them, and I don’t send them, I dictate them, I used to type them. They just come through my mind, they all have to be one sentence.

Ben Schwartz: Okay that’s great. One sentence.

Larry King: There’s no actor like Wallace Beery.

Ben Schwartz: [Laughs]

Larry King: That just popped into me.

Ben Schwartz: Cottonelle wet wipes should be loved by all.

Larry King: If you put too much butter on popcorn, you kill it.

Ben Schwartz: Oh my goodness. I cannot agree with that more, by the way. We can get into big debates on that.

Larry King: No you don’t have to agree with it, that’s the best thing about it.

Ben Schwartz: Um-

Larry King: That’s not the way it works, Ben.

Ben Schwartz: All right, fine, I’ll just think of a random thing-

Larry King: I’ve never had-

Ben Schwartz: I’ve got it, I’ve got it. Matzo ball soup should be hotter than regular soup.

Larry King: I’ve never had an affinity for pumpkin pie.

Ben Schwartz: [Laughs] Why do pumpkin seeds exist?

Larry King: I’ve never read a good biography of Benito Mussolini.

Ben Schwartz: [Laughs]

Larry King: See?

Ben Schwartz: Why do you have a microphone in front of you?

Larry King: That makes no sense.

Ben Schwartz: It’s not plugged in, aren’t you, this little thing like me-

Larry King: It’s a fake.

Ben Schwartz: That’s what I was saying, that just came into my head. Go, keep going, we’re in it now.

Larry King: Like all things, life is a fake.

Ben Schwartz: Ooh I like that, I like that very much. Baseball seems boring, but I’ll watch it every now and then.

Larry King: Baseball is my favorite sport, period.

Ben Schwartz: I know, that’s why I said it.

Larry King: And we’re out of time. But I want to tell you this, Ben. In the history of annals, there is and was and will never be, a better duck.

Ben Schwartz: [Laughs] Oh come on!

Larry King: Watch new episodes of ‘Larry King Now’ Monday, Wednesday, and Friday on demand on Ora TV and Hulu.