Another GOP Debate, Another Chance to Avoid Real Problems

No. No, they will not.

It’s as simple as that. We have seen this same, old dog-and-pony show month after month in this grueling, never-ending campaign. Talking points, mild disgruntlement with one or several of the other debaters. Nothing gained, only our time lost. And it should come as no surprise that it will be the most expensive election in history, it’s the longest!

First off, the Warhawks-- especially Lindsey “What It Takes, For As Long As It Takes” Graham -- will call for boots on the ground to fight terrorism abroad. People will cheer, wave American flags. But what about the domestic terrorism being bred in our own backyards -- not just in San Bernardino, but in Colorado Springs as well?

What part of our wartime bombing efforts have created this “terror” in the first place? If you listen to the experts, the candidates would know who is to blame for the rise of ISIS. But they’d never want to point the finger back at ourselves -- well, only if it’s aimed at Hillary or Obama. But there were so many more players in this game. And our strategy stays exactly the same. Can you honestly bomb the same region repeatedly and hope for a different response?

Time will be given to discuss climate change, maybe a few minutes or so. A few candidates will begrudgingly acknowledge that science is real and fact and true and indisputable. Others will further this maddening debate that they’re right when everything else has been proven quite the opposite.

But you can bet dollars to donuts that every single one of them will have something negative to say about Obama’s role in the Sustainable Innovation Forum in Paris. And still, I must ask: Don’t you want to leave the earth a little bit cleaner and greener than how you came into it? Weren’t any of you Boy Scouts?

The candidates will also pawn off the country’s outbreak of mass shootings as a “mental health crisis.” Okay, let’s say that you’re right, it’s a “mental health crisis.” Then, let’s hear what you’re going to be do about that. Provide mental health relief to those most in need? Offer solutions to the skyrocketing costs of healthcare and insurance so that everyone can afford mental health relief? Explain what your ideal replacement for the “horrors” of Obamacare would be and how it would assist those in need of mental health relief? Or, again, you’ll leave it right there on the floor -- It’s a “mental health crisis.” The end, next talking point if I may.

Oh, and what happens when the shooters have no mental health issues that would prevent them from legally purchasing weapons?

…

Anyway. Next problems: our crumbling infrastructure, the fascist corporate takeover of our government and politicians, the military-industrial complex that sucks up a majority of our national budget and resources, or even the NSA’s incessant spying on our citizens?

Oh, looks like we’re out of time.

Well, these are just predictions anyway. Maybe they’ll all surprise me. Either way, I’ll be live-tweeting the “fun” all night long from the Governor’s Twitter account -- @GovJVentura.

- Vigilant Producer Alex Logan, @Pun_Control

The Final GOP Debates of 2015 are on CNN. The Kids Table Debate (Pataki, Huckabee, Santorum, and Graham) begins at 6PM EST / 3PM PST.
The Main Event (Kasich, Fiorina, Rubio, Carson, Trump, Cruz, Bush, Christie, Paul and a partridge in a pear tree) at 8:30PM EST / 5:30PM PST.

Are you watching the debate? What do you want to hear them discuss? Sound off below!

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