Alex Logan: Moralizing Misdeeds or The Ballad of Mike Huckabee and Josh Duggar

Who could have seen this one coming?! An isolated family, who reportedly homeschooled their children in unusual principles and behaviors that shirk all modern conventions and sensitivities, allegedly covered up a sexual abuse scandal.  Ya don’t say!

Josh Duggar deserves jail time. It doesn’t matter if he’s sorry about what he did (even Jeffrey Dahmer, notorious killer and eater of 17 people, became a born-again Christian once he was thrown in the slammer, so his soul is safe in heaven since he believes in that claptrap). Duggar allegedly molested multiple children, and his parents reportedly shielded him with the help of their church. What happened to “Do unto others”? Oh, it doesn’t apply here?

Josh Duggar. Courtesy: Getty Images.

I suppose in lieu of actual repercussions, the stern talk that Josh was given by Arkansas State Trooper and Duggar family friend, Jim Hutchens, was the appropriate punishment. Side note of disgust: Hutchens is now in jail on child pornography charges, so… again, Do unto others? No? Not applicable?

But let’s not get mired in this truly disgusting, reprehensible case. Instead, let’s hear what former Arkansas Governor and current republican president hopeful, Mike Huckabee thinks! “No purpose whatsoever is served by those who are now trying to discredit Josh or his family by sensationalizing the story.” Yes, stating unfortunate facts is sensationalizing. His Facebook posts continues, “No one needs to defend Josh's actions as a teenager, but the fact that he confessed his sins to those he harmed, sought help, and has gone forward to live a responsible and circumspect life as an adult is testament to his family's authenticity and humility."

I wonder if Huckabee would have the same forgiveness if he were the father of one of Duggar’s victims. 

I wonder if Huckabee would have the same forgiveness if he were the father of one of Duggar’s victims. I fucking doubt it. But since Josh is a good Christian, just like Huckabee, he can let this one slide (as long as he prays to a common Santa Claus of the afterlife). And isn’t that what Christianity is all about?

Oh wait, except when it’s anything relating to the LGBT community, or their inalienable human rights protected in the same U.S. Constitution that Huckabee and his cronies are always waving around like a battle flag. As he eloquently put in a discussion on Fox News Sunday  about bans on same-sex marriage being struck down, Huckabee stated, “The Supreme Court is not the supreme branch. And for God’s sake, it’s not the Supreme Being.” Yes, as we all learned in ca-ca-cuckoo Politics 101,  God is the President of the United States. And if my church doesn’t agree with a policy, I can plug my ears to progress.

Huckabee isn’t the only regressive pole-cat. Let’s take the exemplary example recently set by North Dakota state Representative Randy Boehning, who voted against a Senate Bill 2279, which would have banned discrimination based on sexual orientation. And at the same time, he was messaging and sending explicit photos to 21-year-old Dustin Smith on Grindr. Yes, that dating app for gay men. Boehning has since come out, but he stands by his decision on striking down the rights for his own orientation (it was due to the wording of the bill, not the subject).

But wait there are more! Just this month, Ex-Pastor (the “ex” I’m sure was just as much of a choice as being homosexual is) Matthew Makela said, “The transgender movement is going to assist opportunistic sickos in preying upon children and others. How can business owners and the authorities prove who is a man who identifies as a woman vs. a man who wants to prey upon girls and women in their restroom or locker room?” But just as Jesus preached about peace and love, Makela allegedly stated on his Grindr profile that he “enjoys nude make out sessions, oral sex, massage, and even cuddling with other men.” The pastor doth protest too much, methinks, because it seems that the harder line these men draw against homosexuality, the harder they fall from grace.

So what’s the moral of these stories (since these are all such profound specimens of moral men)? Hate the (other) sinners, not (your) sin? That doesn’t sound exactly right, because all of these sinners were forgiven once they (kind of) owned up to their transgressions. 

Don’t believe me? How about the case of evangelist Ted Haggard? This guy takes the next level bullshit of Makela on a rocket ride to the stratosphere. Pastor Ted had more than 14,000 non-denominational (whatever that means) members at his New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado when he was caught in the middle of a scandal involving a gay prostitute and crystal meth. He denied paying for sex, but admitted to buying the drugs, although he claimed he didn’t smoke it (hey, the “I did not inhale” defense worked for Bill). As Haggard told Larry King, “I felt like God’s plan was for sexuality to be in a monogamous, heterosexual marriage. I wanted that. But at the same time, I had these other things going on.” God wants us to marry and be with one person for life? The creator of all things really cares that much about whom we screw and if we exchanged rings before doing the deed? If you haven’t figured this out yet, I don’t believe in God, and it’s because of high-flying hypocrisy just like this.

So what’s the moral of these stories (since these are all such profound specimens of moral men)? Hate the (other) sinners, not (your) sin? That doesn’t sound exactly right, because all of these sinners were forgiven once they (kind of) owned up to their transgressions. You hate most in others what you can’t change about yourself? That seems closer to the bullseye, but a little kind to these monsters. How about: The more devout, the more despicable? That seems to nail it for me.