Governor Rick “Oops” Perry -- a man who is more than just a pair of smart glasses -- has dropped out of the hilariously crowded 2016 presidential race. Well, he’s calling it “suspending” his campaign, not dropping out.

Slate reports that the Texas governor, who refused affordable healthcare for the citizens of his state, loved to execute people, and found every way to defund education -- Who needs book learnin’ when you ain’t got any doctors anyhow? -- was polling in New Hampshire at 1%. So much for relying on the 1%, Rick!

And why would you just call it “suspending”? Well, according to, “candidates have kept their campaigns open as a way to still qualify for federal matching funds against money they raise when the campaign is suspended.” I guess it was never about the people, unless their names happened to be Benjamin or Grant.

So one last time, let’s play Perry out with his “official” campaign song (that I selected for him personally from an old Iron Maiden album)... Here’s “Invaders.” Enjoy it, Rick!

See you on Fox News, on your book tour for The Oops Heard ‘Round the World, and on the set of your autobiographical feature film, Texas Hears an Oops.

The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the authors alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of Ora Media, LLC its affiliates, or its employees.

More from Jesse Ventura's Off The Grid