Captain Crunch has officially pulled ahead of Deez Nuts in Public Policy Polling’s national poll. The Cap’n -- who isn’t actually a captain if you know anything about naval officer rank insignia -- (and we’re going to let LIAR run our country?!?) is now leading with 17 percent, while Deez Nuts has fallen to 9 percent. Nipping at their backside is Butt Stuff with just 3 percent of the electorate.

Look, I love jokes. I tweet them constantly, but like my handle suggests (@Pun_Control), you must have a level of restraint with your sense of humor. Deez Nuts, Butt Stuff, and Rick Santorum are all fine distractions from the pompous seriousness of the coming election, but why are these jokes STILL getting this much attention?

In the 2014 election, people under 30 made up only 12% of voters. That’s pathetic. What the hell were you doing instead of voting last November? If you tell me that you voted for a joke in September, but you don’t have time to cast your vote in a REAL election that can actually affect your life, you’ve lost any right to bitch about what’s wrong with this country. Your vote matters. And you need to cast it.

I don’t want to hear that old line about “It’s not like it matters!” Well, what about local elections? Sheriffs, judges and mayors can ruin your neighborhood at the drop of a hat -- look at Sheriff Joe Arpaio in Arizona -- and they can get elected by a small margin of citizens.

So let’s quit all screwing around and focus our efforts on learning about local issues, (or campaigning for Bernie Sanders), because while we’re busy coming up with a new gag to put on the ballot, Jeb Bush will snag the keys to the White House.

The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the authors alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of Ora Media, LLC its affiliates, or its employees.

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