New Candidate Surges in Presidential Poll: Off the Grid’s Alex Logan on the Dangers of Dumb Jokes

Captain Crunch has officially pulled ahead of Deez Nuts in Public Policy Polling’s national poll. The Cap’n -- who isn’t actually a captain if you know anything about naval officer rank insignia -- (and we’re going to let LIAR run our country?!?) is now leading with 17 percent, while Deez Nuts has fallen to 9 percent. Nipping at their backside is Butt Stuff with just 3 percent of the electorate.

Look, I love jokes. I tweet them constantly, but like my handle suggests (@Pun_Control), you must have a level of restraint with your sense of humor. Deez Nuts, Butt Stuff, and Rick Santorum are all fine distractions from the pompous seriousness of the coming election, but why are these jokes STILL getting this much attention?

In the 2014 election, people under 30 made up only 12% of voters. That’s pathetic. What the hell were you doing instead of voting last November? If you tell me that you voted for a joke in September, but you don’t have time to cast your vote in a REAL election that can actually affect your life, you’ve lost any right to bitch about what’s wrong with this country. Your vote matters. And you need to cast it.

I don’t want to hear that old line about “It’s not like it matters!” Well, what about local elections? Sheriffs, judges and mayors can ruin your neighborhood at the drop of a hat -- look at Sheriff Joe Arpaio in Arizona -- and they can get elected by a small margin of citizens.

So let’s quit all screwing around and focus our efforts on learning about local issues, (or campaigning for Bernie Sanders), because while we’re busy coming up with a new gag to put on the ballot, Jeb Bush will snag the keys to the White House.

Written by

Alex Logan

As cohost of the political commentary series, Jesse Ventura's Off the Grid, Alex Logan is The Body's body man. Alex and the former governor, action star, wrestler, and everything else in between, tackle the headlines of the week with an uncensored and independent spirit as we hold the two parties' feet to the fire. A deserter of Dayton, Ohio, Alex graduated from the University of Southern California Film School with a degree in Writing for Screen and TV. Alex has assisted in the booking of live acts for the Creative Artists Agency; written jokes, sketches and stunts for MTV and producer Johnny Knoxville; developed treatments and scripts for Anonymous Content and Mark Gordon Productions; and co-founded the Improv Olympic West’s headliner sketch group, The Mutiny, who play sold out shows around LA and at the Chicago and San Francisco Sketch Fests, as well as producing numerous videos for the front pages of YouTube, College Humor, and Funny Or Die. He did a stint as Editor and Technical Producer on Larry King’s Hulu talk show before partnering with Larry and Jesse to co-create Off the Grid. In the first season, Alex co-headed the entire production, writing, producing, and cohosting over 150 episodes. And he's back for Season Two, now serving as producer and host of a series of Man on the Street field pieces called, On the Grid. He also wrote this professional bio with his own two hands.

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