It’s Wednesday and you’re dragging, we can tell.So sit back, and for the next few minutes, allow us to distract you with these 10 hilarious tweets.
Sorry I'm late for work, boss. I asked for pumpkin beer at the biker bar and the gang cut off my arms and legs.
— Jason Miller (@longwall26) October 9, 2013
Office dog fell asleep during our meeting and started snoring. Why is it adorable when they do it but awful when I do?
— Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmat (@MatofKilburnia) October 9, 2013
Halloween goes from being the best holiday to the worst one the moment you hit puberty.
— Mike Lawrence (@TheMikeLawrence) October 9, 2013
What if our society took all the attention we placed on Miley Cyrus and placed it on Nobel Prize winners? Imagine how boring that would be!
— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) October 9, 2013
The Blob scared people in the 1950s. Now a days we see it and say "Hey, that looks like you Mikey!"
— Luke Thayer (@comedianluke) October 8, 2013
A girl just told me that beards are sexy so I grew one, shaved it off & sent it to her in the mail. Chivalry is not dead!
— AndyPandy311 (@Mr_AndrewHunt) October 8, 2013
I want to hear a country song by a guy who sings about being a cat person
— Kevin McCaffrey (@KevinMcCaff) October 8, 2013
"Muppets: The New Class" -- great idea for ruining a classic franchise
— Elliott Kalan (@ElliottKalan) October 9, 2013
"Thanks for buying that thing from us! Here's 40 emails."
— Brendan McLaughlin (@btmclaughlin) October 6, 2013
My favorite signature is "Thx!" You think it's a thank you, but it's Tom Hanks. I wish everyone Tom Hanks.
— Jamie Lee (@TheJamieLee) October 8, 2013
The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author's alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of Ora Media, LLC, its affiliates, or its employees.
