BY: FRANTZ ROCHER
Asked to describe wine, the lot of us tumble uncomfortably into cliches of smokey undertones and something or other about a 'fruity finish.' Next glass, please.
On "Brown Bag Wine Tasting," William Shatner challenges his celebrity friends to shed any airs (and guesswork) and aim for an original take on their sip of mysterious wine -- with just a nudge of direction. Turns out his guests are sommeliers in their own right, if not family friendly. To recap our favorite moments thus far here are Brown Bag Wine Tasting's five most funniest, compelling wine palates:
1. Describing wine in cooking terms with Alton Brown
Alton Brown, Celebrity Chef: "To make this we will take three table spoons of butter, we'll crush up one tablespoon of butterfinger bar -- just work with me, peel only from the side of the lemon facing south. And then, we're going to add some greenery: fresh yard clippings, grass from a hayfield -- second-cut after August. Yeah, there've been cows in that field."
2. Describing wine in comedic stand up comedy terms with Adam Carolla
Adam Corolla, Comedian: "If I was to liken this to a prostitute..I would say this prostitute has a very nice body but may have broken her nose once, but it makes her more interesting..if you like some curves and bosom, this is the prostitute..a couple stretch marks, maybe a c-section scar..It's just part of who she is, Bill."
3. Describing wine in dance terms with Felicia Martinez
Felicia Martinez, Dancer: "It's a classic -- a little balletic. It might have a more contemporary balletic feel to it, just a little bit of an edge, not completely. There is definitely some grand battement, some grande jette..I think it's very elongated, though..It's a little bit savory; there is an emotion behind it. Something that's going to hold you."
4. Describing the wine in 'Normalcy' terms with Misha Collins.
Misha Collins, Actor (Supernatural): "I taste a waft of an amphibian, sort of primordial sacrifice..in the mouth there is the blood of infidel -- have you noticed that? ..[a] nice abnormal, abhorrent, deviant finish, it really goes down nice. There is a tom tom to it; anarchistic and delicious.
5. Describing wine as a sex act with reality star Brandi Glanville
Brandi Glanville, Reality Star (Real Housewives of Beverly Hills): "There is a lot of passion. I want to do something really wrong, a little bit naughty. Everyone wants what they can't have so they kind of hold it back for holidays and Sundays...music is very important when you're doing things like this -- when you're doing stuff that's a little kinkier, I call it f*cking."
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The views and opinions expressed herein are those of the author's alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of Ora Media, LLC, its affiliates, or its employees.
