Biden’s Out Before He Even Began

Smilin’ Joe Won’t Pursue Presidential Nomination in 2016; Already Overcrowded Race Lets Out Sigh of Relief

Despite CNN’s unofficial endorsement of Hillary (although I’d call half a million dollars in donations pretty damn “official”), the scuttlebutt at the recent Democratic Presidential Debate was all about “To Joe or Not to Joe.” CNN even kept an “emergency lectern” at the ready in case the Vice President decided to swing in at the very last moment to take on the Hilldog and try to Extinguish the Bern.

But Joe has finally made his intentions known: he will NOT run for president in 2016. Despite being a member and defender of the two Washington gangs, I’ve always appreciated Biden’s downhome charisma, hilarious verbal gaffes, and the way he dissed and dismissed Paul Ryan throughout the 2012 VP Debate. And c’mon, nobody looks as cool in a pair of aviators.

Visual evidence:
#1. Look at ‘em.
#2. Deal with it.
#3. Shades plus ice cream and cash.

Biden left his possible campaign behind with these inspiring and hopeful words for the future of U.S. politics.

"I believe that we have to end the divisive partisan politics that is ripping this country apart, and I think we can," said Biden, who, though a crafty partisan, often worked across the aisle during nearly four decades in the Senate.

"It's mean spirited, it's petty, and it's gone on for much too long. I don't believe, like some do, that it's naive to talk to Republicans. I don't think we should look at Republicans as our enemies. They are our opposition. They're not our enemies."

He added: "For the sake of the country, we have to work together."

Hillary Clinton needs to take these words to heart and stop touting that Republicans are on her list of enemies. And I’d say Trump should heed his advice as well, but you can’t tell The Donald nothin’.

Adios, Joe. Thanks for not further confusing the American people with another flavor of vanilla.

Written by

Alex Logan

As cohost of the political commentary series, Jesse Ventura's Off the Grid, Alex Logan is The Body's body man. Alex and the former governor, action star, wrestler, and everything else in between, tackle the headlines of the week with an uncensored and independent spirit as we hold the two parties' feet to the fire. A deserter of Dayton, Ohio, Alex graduated from the University of Southern California Film School with a degree in Writing for Screen and TV. Alex has assisted in the booking of live acts for the Creative Artists Agency; written jokes, sketches and stunts for MTV and producer Johnny Knoxville; developed treatments and scripts for Anonymous Content and Mark Gordon Productions; and co-founded the Improv Olympic West’s headliner sketch group, The Mutiny, who play sold out shows around LA and at the Chicago and San Francisco Sketch Fests, as well as producing numerous videos for the front pages of YouTube, College Humor, and Funny Or Die. He did a stint as Editor and Technical Producer on Larry King’s Hulu talk show before partnering with Larry and Jesse to co-create Off the Grid. In the first season, Alex co-headed the entire production, writing, producing, and cohosting over 150 episodes. And he's back for Season Two, now serving as producer and host of a series of Man on the Street field pieces called, On the Grid. He also wrote this professional bio with his own two hands.

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