What Would You Ask Maria Menounos?
- Dec 17 '19
Larry: We play a little game now. I just I just throw questions at you Eric and you try to answer.
Eric: Larry legend in the house!
Larry: Do you have a secret talent?
Eric: We should do this every week.
Larry: Do you have - I should go on your show.
Eric: You should come on my show. I would love nothing more.
Larry: And I'll bring oatmeal. Do you have -
Eric: I feel like I lost you at the oatmeal.
Larry: Do you have a secret talent?
Eric: Yes.
Larry: What is it?
Eric: I can 69 with Larry King. Anytime I want to.
Larry: No you can't.
Larry: Comedian you most admire?
Eric: Larry King.
Larry: Guilty pleasure?
Eric: Larry King!
Larry: Who out there is weirder than you?
Eric: Larry King, baby!
Larry: Do you know anyone weirder than you?
Eric: Oh, I don't know. Who are you gonna vote for?
Larry: Mr. Johnson.
Eric: LBJ?
Larry: Noooo.
Eric: He's dead.
Larry: Governor Johnson. The candidate on the Libertarian ticket. It's my protest vote.
Eric: Really?
Larry: Only kidding.
Eric: Assalamualaikum, my brother. Preach!
Larry: I never announce who I'm voting for. Never in my whole career did I ever -
Eric: Really? 'Cause you don't want to -
Larry: I don't want to -
Eric: You don't want to divide your audience.
Larry: I have to be objective. Okay -
Eric: No you don't.
Larry: What do you think of this election?
Eric: I think it's sassy.
Larry: Sassy.
Larry: What makes you angry?
Eric: Larry King
Larry: I love when you book the intellectuals. Keep this up!
Eric: What do you want me to say?
Larry: Keep booking these professors to enhance my knowledge.
Eric: Do you want me to get on my high horse and be like, "Yes, I'm glad you asked."
Larry: What is a high horse?
Eric: What is catch a tiger by the tail or whatever the hell you said before?
Larry: Who would you trade places with for a day?
Eric: Larry King! No, uhhh… Oprah. No. Yes. I don't know, whatever you want me to say.
Larry: You'd be a woman.
Eric: I would.
Larry: Would - you want me to be a guest on your show?
Eric: I do. I thought we already established that.
Larry: What's the best -
Eric: I'm trying to have a connection with you and you're just glued to the cards.
Larry: What's the best piece of advice you ever got?
Eric: Gosh, I don't know. Don't listen to anybody.
Larry: What does your father do?
Eric: My dad's a psychiatrist.
Larry: Oh boy! Is that the truth?
Eric: That is the truth.
Larry: So he works at home?
Eric: You want something Zoloft? I can hook you up, my man.
Larry: He is a psychiatrist.
Eric: My dad's a psychiatrist.
Larry: Are you a patient?
Eric: Wellbutrin, Zoloft, I got it. Paxil.
Larry: Are you a patient?
Eric: No. But I would snort Propecia if you forced me to do it.
Larry: Where does your father practice?
Eric: Boca Raton, Florida, where I'm from. You know Boca Raton?
Larry: I know it well, lived in Miami 20 years.
Eric: Well, what the hell? Why don't you holler at me? We'll go out.
Larry: When I lived in Miami, Jewish people couldn't live in Boca Raton.
Eric: Are you a Jew? I'm a Jew.
Larry: I'm a Jew. You're -
Eric: My mom's a Jew, I'm black and Jewish. You didn't do enough Wikipedi-ing! My mom's a Jew, I'm Ashkenazi Jew on my mom's side and my dad is a black. He's a Haitian man. My dad's a black psychiatrist and my mom is from the Upper West Side of New York.
Larry: My, what a marriage.
Eric: Yeah. L'Chaim.
Larry: Any brothers or sisters?
Eric: I got an older sister.
Larry: What does she do?
Eric: She works for the government health services.
Larry: Are you proud of her?
Eric: Yeah, of course.
Larry: Is your family proud of you?
Eric: Absolutely not. I went to Israel and they wouldn't let me in. I went on Birthright. If you don't believe I'm a Jew I can show you. I'm circumcised.
Larry: That doesn't mean you're a Jew, every kid is circumcised.
Eric: I did it myself. Freehand. The mohel wouldn't let me in.
Larry: Did it hurt?
Eric: It was a rush. It was a rush.
Larry: You had a high from this.
Eric: I was on - I just did it in the bathroom.
Larry: Eric, where do you see your future? What do you -
Eric: Let's pray. Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu, Melech Ha’Olam -
Larry: Where do you want to go with this talent? - I mean, let's say, give me you at age forty. What are you doing?
Eric: Forty... I want to I always dreamed about killing myself on stage because you can only do that once, and no one's ever really done it. And wouldn't it be an amazing show?
Larry: Andy Kaufman thought about it.
Eric: Yeah wouldn't it be crazy to see something live and then their head exploded on the stage? Not in a depressive way, in like an exciting way.
Larry: And how would you lead up to it?
Eric: You know, a lot of Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn...
Larry: Come in, watch this, so you'd get a huge audience
Eric: Huge audience! Two, three...
Larry: Would you book a hall?
Eric: I'd book a hall, I'd book a corridor, whatever. Whatever it takes.
Larry: What method would you use kill yourself?
Eric: I think I would sky dive without a parachute into the building. Ah, onto a bed of nails. That would be a show.
Larry: In other words, the ground wouldn't be good enough. The nails would add to it.
Eric: Bed of nails. It would be like god damn Cirque de Soleil.
Larry: Do you think you would have fear on your way down?
Eric: I think I think I would have a lot of fear and excitement.
Larry: Eric, I will attend -
Eric: How many kids you got?
Larry: Five.
Eric: Wow. Is it scary? Fatherhood?
Larry: Well three are grown and two are teenagers.
Eric: But when you first became a dad?
Larry: Sure.
Eric: You had to be nervous.
Larry: Are you a father yet?
Eric: I want to. I hate condoms.
Larry: It's the best thing in the world.
Eric: Really?
Larry: The best.
Eric: So I should just be squirting -
Larry: Be a father you'll never be unhappy with a kid.
Eric: Larry.
Larry: Eric, great, I'll be on your show Eric.
Eric: I love you.